You
were in a coffee shop along with your group of girl friends. The air was damp,
quite cold but not so chilly…just perfect coffee weather. Then one random girl
in your group started talking about his guy, seconded by one girl on your side,
until all the talks narrowed into one single topic—love and relationship. You
felt strangely hot and uneasy, and you had that need to gulp in some fresh air
outside, so you excused yourself and hurried outside the shop. Darn…that was
pathetic. But by all means I’d rather not talk about love or anything
associated with it, too. I never find relationships attractive, or adorable.
And I guess I had this pocketful of reasons why.
Relationships are
messy.
I
heard a lot of stories, or saw some real-life scenes on movies and television
on how a once sought-after, jealous-by-many, romeo-and-juliet kind of love
turned into hell, like a cute little dog transforming into a monster. Love is
not a magical feeling like what fairy-tale stories imbued in us about that
happy-ever-after saga. No, love is never like that in real life. It is a job
you need to pursue, and when you got it, you should take all effort to maintain
it. I’ve never been into any kind of
relationships with any man. But yes, I go out on dates and casual day outs but
I don’t commit. I never commit. Commitment to a guy is never on my list of
words. I could have never really figure it out well before if the guy is so
seriously into me. And that was one of my dumbest days. So maybe the usual
draft of that scene would go this way.
Phase
1: The First Meeting
It
could either be inside a club while you are drinking and having fun with your
friends, and he eyed on you and you caught those eyes taking glances to where
you were. He would approach you, or maybe would try to talk to some of your
friends first to get your attention. Finally he was talking to you. He speaks
in a way most guys do in first meeting (you look so cute, I’ve been staring at
you for a while, etc. etc.). He asked for your name, and you ask his too. Your
night ended with that silly, stupid wide grin on your face while clutching
tightly your phone hoping he would call first hour in the morning the next day.
Or
maybe the scene might be a little mellow, like walking past by the guy in a
bookstore you usually go to, or you have seated next to him in a long, boring
bus ride. Or maybe he was the guy introduced to you by a friend or officemate.
Or maybe he can be your neighbor, co-worker, schoolmate, or fellow churchmate
you are just about to meet in the next few days of your life. Perhaps then you
are single.
Phase
II: The Getting-to-Know Stage
Here’s the moment you screamed out loud. He messaged/called/facebooked/Skped
you inviting for a date. Well, it may be just some kind of a friendly date but
you are certain it will be the beginning of something so you dramatically spend
the whole day looking in your closet for the perfect outfit to wear. You were
debating with yourself whether to put make up or not. You would want him to see
you fabulous As for me, I’d like him to see me horrible.
“I
love the Beatles” “Really? I like them too. Wow...”
“I
can’t eat chocolates with raisins…”
“You
too? I hate raisins since a kid..”
So
here goes the exchanging of statements, trying to pair your do’s and don’ts
with the other. This is where the compatibility test gets in. You would try to
figure out if he digs the same music, books and movies that you do. Does he
like fashion? Is he the sporty or the homie type? Does he drink and party on
Saturday nights? Does he smoke? How many women did he date before?
--to be continued
--to be continued
