Friday, March 30, 2012

Squid. Gray Sky. Sunset.

        March 30 marks another year as a city for Sipalay. We took another visit in the market as we were all devoted to maintain the "fish diet" thing (hehehe), and I saw this pair of huge squids. They looked cute. I always love marine animals, though I really can't appreciate the waters in the sea because I don't know how to swim. I wonder how much do these squids cost.



Banderitas here and there. They float like dying leaves under this gray sky. 
     Oh dear gray cloud.




The stage being prepared for my concert. LOL



And here are the delightful sunsets.... 





Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Thank You ! =)


       
       I just read a post from Patty Laurel’s blog which talks about thanking persons who have changed your life, or those who have been an instrument of inspiration, and I began to think the flock of strangers who happen to cross my way in the past few years and yes, indeed, persons are no accident. They came into our lives for a purpose, for a reason. I would always be glad and thankful for those who have been there when I was downhearted, depressed, or simply when I just wanted someone to talk to. I feel like talking about some of them in here tonight. *smiles*

      Just recently I met a friend who happened to share some of my interests, and I was definitely grateful for his wise and comforting words and listening heart every time I would share my ill-feelings, lonely thoughts, stress-related dramatic thinking, or when I am just getting half crazy. Thank you for buying my corniest jokes, my melodramatic moments and my messy thoughts. You said you never like being thanked many a times because it felt like being the last time, or sounding like the last words which means goodbye. Hahaha. Well, lem’me just thank you NJ for being one of the best persons I have recently known and for your best set of ears and that good heart of yours that I know are always willing to listen. You made me realize that there are still a lot of kind persons out there, even that stranger you just met on one corner of the street. You are very pampering. Indeed.  *bear hug*

      Then to my gay-est girl friend Lyvine, my bestfriend for a day (haha!) back then in our humble and peaceful kingdom of IRS (the review school), a million thanks to you agi. We may never see each other so often, but the way we communicate constantly like long-lost sisters is very much important to me. Thank you for being real, for being honest, for being just you. I promise I won’t pick a boyfriend until you got one (yet promises can be broken hehehe). Love lots agi.

      It’s been like three years, but I still could perfectly remember all the girly-talks, the boisterous laughter, and even just the purely chismis I shared with my dorm neighbors in the review school Jacky and Mau. You girls are so accommodating, and so sweet. I will always cherish our laundry-moments in the poso area, our food and secret sharing (hahah) and the bubble-blowing one cold night while talking about life, love and the future. I’m sorry if I forgot some of the waray/bisaya terms you have taught me. But hey, I still do remember “pikat” and “sili”. Hahahahah! That was very cool. Thank you so much girls, I wish to see both of you again. I know we have lots of stories to tell.

        To my college sisters Gillie, Nikki and Sillery—I really, really miss you. I spent the whole college life with you and there are just a whole lot of things I miss doing with you. Of course the pancit canton moments at Raffy’s every afternoon, the tambay/study hours in the library which is in fact just to chase my crush (haha!), the best exam/quiz moments of sharing (LOL!) and just a whole lot more. Thank you for all the patience in waiting when I was always late in every lakad/gimmick, for being the only persons I could share my sentiments with, for backing me up when I was chasing ya know (hehehe), and yes, for everything. I love and miss you so, so much! Love and kisses sissies!

       And there is EJ, my highschool bathroom friend, who inspired me to venture in the happiness of writing my thoughts just like how the little gray cloud pour out rain into a field of daffodils. We call each other “bathroom friend’ after the series of chismisan and some sort of girly confessions we did inside our school’s bathroom. I always look up to her, like my own older sister. She was very smart, yet very humble. I want to thank her for being the only person I can seriously talk to when I felt lost in my own circle during high school days. When things get tough, I always think of her favorite line “there is always a positive side in every negative situation.” Of course, we will always love Kenshin Himura hehehe. Thank you J, and I miss you soooo much! 

Realization No. 1

          
                   I was the bad person. In some way, or another…yes, I am. I admit the fact that for a couple of times I have failed to fully understand the cause of my so called loneliness and the best remedy I that should use to it, and instead have fallen into temptations of redefining friendship with some of my male friends. Because the given attention and care are just so good, I let the closeness grow and let it become confusing. Spending a whole lot of time talking and sharing my thoughts more than what I should suppose to with a friend of the opposite sex is just one way of throwing out signal that I am leading him on. Emotions are not toys that should be unrestrictedly earned from each other. A girl in this case, I can say, is in a very vulnerable situation. And thus a man is also in a very vulnerable situation to respond positively, and take advantage of her in the end. I do treasure friendship as much as everyone else do, and the idea of wrecking that beautiful relationship I have with my friends scares me and made me realize that I was never really becoming aware of my actions and thoughts and words spilling out from my mouth.  So questions like “I am leading him on?”, “Does he think I am in love with him?” or “what if he got it the wrong way and fall for me?” bothers me so much, and now I think I need to step back and analyze myself thoroughly before I got swept away by my impulsive decisions. I am so embarrassed with myself on how I act so immature and so unchristian-like. This is not what a mature person is supposed to be doing, like running a crooked road with no definite direction. And to tell that this is the very first time I would discuss this thing about myself, I was once in extreme denial about this mistake. 

          If I was once feeling lost and lonely and alone, that is because I failed to seek God first and address my worries unto Him. I took my own longings to myself, decided for myself and concluded right away that what I needed is love and be in the presence of a man who can secure me with it. I have mistakenly understood love on the first place. And I haven’t realized that all the emotional exhaustion are caused by my running away from God because I became selfish and was afraid to cast all my worries into His hands. I was so much in doubt about everything, and it weakened my faith to the Father who relentlessly seizes me despite how many times I run away. It was me who was lost. It was God who found me. No matter how hard did I try to seek “love” and put romance in my life I know I never will, because the true source of love is Jesus himself, and never will I experience true happiness but only through Him. I should have spend more time with Him, knowing Him more, loving Him more than anything. I am twenty three, and should be mature enough to know what things should be kept within the friendship zone, and what goes beyond. I’m a little redundant, very needy, and very provoking, and I know the Lord is not happy about this thing. Cultivate friendship; establish a healthy relationship…but never invite temptation or whatsoever that brings in confusion, guilt and sin. On the first place, I realized that I am still not ready to be in a romantic relationship with the opposite sex. The will to do something more like an adventure with myself alone, doing something for a cause, is empowering inside me. If love has to arrive, it will in God’s perfect time. I don’t have to mess other people’s feelings, confusing them and myself, and end up badly hurt and rejected and despised.  This is very awakening. I am awakening. I will put my feet to walk a definite path, I will hold unto Him. Will seek God first before anything else… All praises to the great Almighty who made me realized everything; He will put things back into places again. 

Free Glasses from Firmoo Optical

         This one is actually a late post. Well, last Monday (March 19) I got my free sunglasses from Firmoo Optical delivered at home. I was really in awe. Actually this is the very first time I get to have a free item and of course, with free shipping, just by advertising it on my site. What I only did actually was to put the link of Firmoo here in my blog. But hey, when I came to see my sunglasses it was just sooo cute. I really love it. I was even actually thinking of purchasing another one next time. The glasses came with a free case, cloth,  two extra screws and a cute tiny screw-driver. I would really recommend Firmoo Optical to my friends! :)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

         Out of the blue I just decided to go to Iloilo last Sunday afternoon. It was an abrupt decision actually, though I and my friend Lyvine had been planning to see each other weeks ago, because I generally felt lazy the whole weekend. I just even spent the whole Saturday making some doodles in my notebook. So yes, I rode the seacraft and was in Iloilo City late Sunday afternoon after a hasty decision to get my renewed PRC license early Monday morning. A whole lot of mishaps actually happened when I was there. Maybe that’s what I got after not checking properly my things before leaving the house. You see, I was definitely in a hurry to catch up with at least that second to the last trip of seacraft in bound Iloilo. But really, definitely, I was so dumb sometimes. So dumb to even forgot my own money. Yeah, fellas. After watching that dreadful film Corazon Ang Unang Aswang (hehehehe), I told Lyvine that I need to withdraw some cash because I don't have enough in my wallet. So I was there making pila in the ATM machine inside SM, and when it was my turn, I opened my clutch and to my surprise...tadaaa!! That rectangle little thing is all missing... How did I forget that I left it on my drawer the other night??? (duuummmmbbbb!!!) I felt a huge ball of disappointment bouncing right in front of me. But luckily I found out that i have slipped some bills somewhere in my wallet few days ago and they were there to back me up. Gooossshhh! I must really have some kind of memory disorder. So after that consolable situation of mine, Lyvine suggested to spend the rest of our spare time in Smallville. There was a poster somewhere in Pirates that says "...serving the coldest beer in town".Oh yeah, definitely. We were really in cold. Literally, in cold. I kept asking Lyvine “nga-a katugnaw di ya subong haw? It is supposed to be warm...” With that gloomy weather we felt so chilled, so we decided to go back to the inn and just have our normal girly chismisan. Ang daming kwentuhan, yung topic iisa lang. Love lang. Hahahah. But the series of kamalasan didn’t cease there, I had lots in the PRC office the next day. Naman… Been standing there for like 10 years (and baaagaaaal). Imagine waiting for hours with all those people around making siksikan, then there would be one or two who would step on your feet. I was only to claim my ID, but it still took me almost half day. Sigh. I looked so haggard na when I left there. Tsk2x… I felt sorry I was not able to see some of my friends in there. Kung alam niyo lang, minalas lng talaga (hahahaha). There, that is why I really don’t like rainy days sometimes. Till next time.


Magnum experience w/ Lyvine
Sa wakas nakuha din...Paynali

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

='(


#OneDay

Today is just like the other normal days where I used to do my usual routine, and where the usual things happen. But one particular thing that changed this ordinary Thursday is that I suddenly came up with realizations which I have actually thought of but ignored a couple of times before. These thoughts however were able to sink into my system so deeply that it enabled me to spare hours of contemplation as to how would I react in these line of ideas that have been bothering me in the past few days. The fact that the mind really works in the most beautiful and splendid way amazed me and I think of the wonders of the Great Creator who have fashioned these things along with the rest of our human system. Beautiful indeed, for He has made me realized by passing the days so fast that time is such a precious thing to be ignored and wasted, and if I have to spend it well, I should do it for His purpose. Few weeks ago I have been thinking of what do I really want to do in life (well, aside of course of my job), and then series of raw ideas began marching in my head like writing, sketching, doing a canvas painting, learning the guitar, and even pursuing a law degree. Yes, I definitely wanted to do all of these things. But as I continue to ponder, I just remember one time that I wanted to be active in church activities again, and that I wanted to do some things that could cultivate love, hope and faith in me. I still wanted to learn how to love. I mean, knowing and understanding the real essence of love. I’ve always wanted to share the goodness of the Lord in my life to others but I do always fail to do this thing. In the next few months I would be turning 24 and I think that would be unacceptable if I say I’m too young and immature to do the right things and resort to the right stuff. This might be an invitation to change and renew, and be back again in God’s loving arms where there is real refuge against confusion and desolation. I know I should stop saying no, and cease from procrastinating things. All my life the Lord has always been so faithful to me I should have returned the same to Him by making Him my number one priority. Yes…yes… all to the glory of the Lord. I will do this. 

"But we all have our little ways..."- Eeyore

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Paint Tool SAI

            This is such an exciting new discovery while browsing the web. The paint tool SAI. I'm so excited to use this I did a little try right away while I'm here in the office heheheh. I know how definitely my coloring ability sucks, and this is all what my sketches should need. I wonder why I didn't give a try on Correl or Photoshop before. You can download this one for free by the way. 

cute!

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

backtracks! pangukay sa baul part 1

              Last Sunday while fixing my messy room i happen to stumble upon an old CD which contains my college graduation pics. It's quite a shame to finally upload them in Facebook. So for the benefit of those who wants material evidence of my graduation ceremony four years ago, I post some here. LOL

Me and my older  brother who happened to have graduated in the same year 
with cousin Tristan 
with parents

with Nikki
with Sillery

with friends...

with Papa

Bottomline: I looked definitely so "wala-buot". I so hate the "parang-di-makabasag-pinggan" aura. Whaaa!!