Oo
At twenty three I still have this “traditional” perspective on true love. I still believe that there is a right man made only for me and that he will come in the right time and we will have the best love story ever created. Sounds like a happy-ever after fairytale, the reason why I barely share these thoughts to my peers. In my circle, most of my friends are happily in love with their boyfriends, and they did not have the same perspective on love as I do. They just simply chose the guy and romance seemed to progress afterall. They made it simple, and they are happy. And I was single. Until now. So I began to ask myself how will I ever keep the waiting fun (if I could still consider it “fun”), or when will I ever continue waiting for the right guy? The worst question is, will he really come? I sighed as I imagined my love life’s time table. And got worried by the thought that time has been passing so swiftly, I may end up alone forever. Love, where are you?
Five years ago when I just turned eighteen, I set twenty one as my preferred age of dating. I couldn’t entertain love at that time because I was still in college and girls with a domineering father like mine would understand why. So after I graduated and passed the board exam required for my course, I started to tag along with some friends hoping to meet a man that could be my perfect boyfie. But the result was disaster. Most of the guys I met were irresponsible and behaved like there was no thing such as chivalry ever existed on earth. My impulsiveness to meet and experience love brought me no happiness but disappointments. I began questioning myself what do I really like, and what am I like? Why can’t I have suitors like the others? Why does love seems so rare?
I got tired of thinking about the matter and decided to focus on my career. But there was a time I feel like I’m in need of something and that lack gave me emptiness inside. I grew weary, restless and yes, lonely. I knew I was never alone because I am loved and cherished by my family and friends, but there is one missing thing that keeps my heart sinking. It’s more painful than going out to a movie theater alone to watch a romantic film and accidentally you sat beside a cuddling couple, or much sadder than walking down the street all by yourself on a rainy afternoon. I just wanted someone to listen to my crazy thoughts, to hold my hand when it’s raining hard and remind me that I am never alone, to sing me the songs I failed to remember, and be there beside me when things aren’t going my way.
Nothing could be lovelier than love itself. And I am just one hopeless romantic girl who had been struggling for so long to find her one true love in a crowd of strangers. Yes, I still do believe in true love. I know there is someone out there whose heart is made to beat next to mine. I am very positive about this. So despite the loneliness that kills away the happiness in my bosom, I am trying to remember God’s promise of a perfect love story for me. I know He sees how I struggled inside after all the false chances on romance I have been through, on how I suffered from my own faulty decisions because all I wanted is to pursue my own. I have been wrong all along. I forget to lay my desires on His hands. He is the author, the director. And I am just the actress. My ways aren’t great and perfect as His. My choices aren’t the best, while His are all in perfection. So I began to let go of everything and surrendered it all to God. I know my weariness and anxiety will soon come to an end, and that soon I will finally meet the man who will love me forever. Gee, I don’t really want to sound so cheesy but look what I am doing right now. Oh… But it’s true, I’m holding on to my faith. Mr. Right is coming to sweep me off my feet. No need to rush. It’s going to be a great love story. (fingers crossed) ^_^
